Guilt-free waffle fries, more counterspace and other things I want for Christmas

 

In no particular order, here is a sampling of what I would like this year for Christmas:

  • For Chick-fil-a to adopt more progressive social views so I won’t have a moral dilemma every time I want some waffle fries.
  • Delivery service from Annie Café. Yes, I live within spitting distance, but sometimes laziness sets in when I get a hankering for ginger chicken.
  • Time to reorganize all the recipes I’ve torn out from magazines.
  • MORE COUNTERSPACE.
  • Nutella in bigger, redesigned jars optimal for dipping pretzels and animal crackers. I’m sick of getting hazelnut spread on my wrists when I near the end of the jar.
  • And speaking of pretzels, a steady supply of chocolate-covered pretzels at my desk would be great. The salty/sweet combo is magical.
  • To receive the same (alleged) multi-million-dollar deal from Weight Watchers that Jessica Simpson will (allegedly) receive after she has a baby. I’m already down with PointsPlus, Weight Watchers. I’ll take the cash.
  • For people to truly like the homemade baked goodies I’m doling out for the holidays.
  • A new lunch bag. Something like this will do.
  • More respect for the tiny carts at Kroger. Quit leaving them out to freeze, Angry Teenage Cart-Gatherer.
  • More coupons for real food — the kind that doesn’t come in cardboard boxes.
  • Cherry Coke Zero at every fountain.
  • The realization of the great app that will be Menu and Hours.
  • More butter for Norway. Those people have suffered enough.
  • To not gain winter weight from all the cookies, doughnuts, cakes and lunch specials I’ve been exposed to in my new office.
  • World peace.