Happy Derby Day, readers. I hope you have fun, whether you’re at Churchill Downs or chilling in a patio chair in front of a grill (which I will be doing shortly). But first, a poem:
May you skip the mint juleps and go for straight bourbon.
May your benedictine sandwiches be especially verdant.
May you wear seersucker proudly and carry a Tide pen.
May you enjoy ribs, baked beans and coleslaw on a plate that doesn’t bend.
May you avoid smelling like smoke when you stand near the grill.
May you treat yourself to two slices of Derby pie, but only the real deal.
But here’s what matters most on this special day,
May your 140th Kentucky Derby be decadent and depraved.